Marriage?

Part 2

For those of you genuinely angered by the previous article and willing to read on. This is the other version.

The current issue of marriage is counter-productive in its focus on "rights", as it has primarily been presented thus far in the public discussion. "Rights" have been inextricably tied to acceptance and validation by the State. It would seem that the goal in doing so, would result in the progressive change in the attitudes of society at large. Moving from "acceptance" as presented in the mass media - think of queers on television and in movies - towards gradual real life acceptance.

Unfortunately, the context in which this is happening is fraught with failure. Those who know their history, understand that any "right" obtained from the State is merely one that has been "granted" to them. I use the term granted, as I heard it once used by a seasoned and worldly feminist activist. Anything "granted" is subject to the will of the State, and thus lacking in permanence.

Genuine societal change is SLOW moving. It takes well over a generation, and constant observance. Today's queer marriage activists would do well to look back and see what it has taken to get where we are today.... and what we have recently lost.

My last remark is not to signify a nostalgic memory. Genuine activism has ranged from radical grassroots approaches to the more moderate academic ones. It's simply fortunate that the former seems non-existent today.

If we do not continue to observe and fight for our basic rights, we will continue to lose more ground. As quickly as public acceptance of queers has grown over the last decade or so, just as quickly can it vanish.

Basic rights force others to recognize WHY we are different. They also force others to recognize HOW we are the same - as in human - as well.

If we - those who believe that queers should be ABLE TO get married - accept this, then we can take our discussion a step forward. We can enliven our debates. We can start looking at some real world issues of marriage - besides the looming one of queer divorce (as in legally divorced).

First off. I am married. I have a kid. My family does not live at nor below the poverty line, but I have known those that do. Dependants. Depending on which country, state, province or district you live in, legal recognition of dependants is critical for those who ARE struggling near, at and below the poverty line. The potential financial assistance available, be it welfare, tax breaks or child tax benefits is significant. Put simply, it helps you to continue living together as a family, besides simply living.

Custody. Again, depending on where you live, this legal recognition coupled with true equality before the law, helps ensure a fair hearing in custody cases. The court could not have to weigh the nature of the divorced spouses' current relationship. Living with two dads or two moms should be irrelevant.

Let's take a moment to remember why we are activists for our causes. Let's try to have a real dialogue.

- anonymous

MARRIAGE?

Part 1

I hate gay marriage. Before these words return to haunt me for life, let me rephrase. I hate the TOPIC of gay marriage.

Of all the issues that have come to dominate the public discussion of queer rights, this one has truly caused the shit to hit the fan. Both for the Right and the Left.


For the Right, the mere raising of the subject seems to have the force to bring many a politician to their knees. Who are they to side with? Should they follow their own moral compass or that of the deeply rift-driven public?

My guess is that many politicians would rather have this ONE issue simply go away. Let them get married, who cares? Unfortunately, a large number of their constituents do, be they for or against it.

It used to be so simple. Just lock'em up. Put them in an institution. Give'em electro-shock "therapy". Or simply beat the living crap out of them, everytime you spotted one. Of course, you never do it alone. (Who would have the courage to actually confont them alone? You do it by ganging up on them.

They've always been a "minority".)


How times have changed... Have they?


Activists who support L&G marriage often appear half-hearted to me. Marriage is a "safe" issue. It gets them one step closer to that ever distant goal of "acceptable."

In all honesty, so what if you can get married? A primary aspect of marriage is the social and ECONOMIC contract that it entails. The claim of being married - as sanctioned by the state - provides an economic benefit, be it in taxes or in workplace benefits.

Forget all that crap about having our "love" recognized. Why the fuck should any spouse care that the State understand their love? Why on earth would you need a Big Brother approval for your love? Do you need a Big Brother approval to justify your own existence? Is our self-esteem so fragile that we cannot live and think for ourselves?

It's because of this perverse fragility, this desire to be "accepted" at almost any cost, that the topic of L&G marriage makes me so infuriated. Activists have deemed this to be an issue instead of others that directly affect us all.

My favorite diatribe is against censorship. If you cannot even read about being queer, why the fuck is getting married more important? Queers have been "living together" as partners since Day One. This is a FACT. A fact that seems so foreign to too many of today's ahistorical activists. They represent the living proof of how a lack of knowledge can cripple a "movement". Unfortunately, for those in the know, reinventing the wheel is not a favourable option. Then, there is the lack of dialogue between these two groups. As a result, those not in the know blindly move forward.

So what are we moving toward now? The thought sends a shiver down my spine. Personally, I believe that the whole legal definition of marriage needs to be "opened up." Queers are people. Spouses are people. People get married, irrespective of sexual orientation, gender or identity. While we are all human beings, queers are different - just as straights are different from queers.

When we are young, we feel the urge to be the "same". When we grow, we come to recognize the feelings and acceptance of being different.

- anonymous

Marriage Equality Blog Introduction

The issues surrounding same-sex marriage -- or, as our Canadian friends are quick to point out, "marriage equality" -- have become over the past two years one of the defining civil liberties struggles across the globe. And, especially in the United States, it has become one of the central playing fields for capturing people's hearts, minds and pocketbooks in the battle for political power.

It's a struggle that's being played out in just about every facet of life -- across generations, culturally, in religious debates, economically, politically, in the courtrooms, in legislative halls, through academic research and voter referendums -- just to name a few. Regardless of the venue, the debate has been equally impassioned on both sides.

And, simply put, the issues aren't going to go away.

Young gay men and lesbians, who have grown up without the fear of being jailed or institutionalized because of who they are, are no longer content with having second-class lives. And their straight friends, for the most part, simply view them as friends who have different interests, much the same way one would view somebody who's interested in auto racing as opposed to baseball. It's just another difference, not a moral perversion or a mental illness. No longer content to sit in the proverbial "back of the bus," this generation is claiming their status as full members of society with all the rights and responsibilities, not just some. Marriage equality is a keystone to that claim.

It's our hope that this blog will become a resource for those interested in these issues -- and, perhaps, more importantly, those willing to make a difference by getting involved.

Hopefully, the posts from members and visitors -- both pro and con -- will add to the quality and richness of the conversations about these issues. Our news section in the right-hand margin culls through hundreds of stories worldwide and provides links to the latest stories and developments. As we grow and gain members, our directory section will provide information about organizations that can provide resources, support and/or opportunities for involvement. Our forum section is the place to share personal stories and experiences, ways to get involved and suggestions for change.

Given the arguments around these issues, we expect the posts to run the gamut from the philosophical to the emotional, from the abstract to the personal. So, we're going to be very open to letting members and visitors say whatever is on their minds. About the only way that anyone can get banned is if they step over the line of debate to hate and/or personal invective.

So, as you find this blog, it's our hope that you'll participate and get involved regardless of where you stand on the issues.